I’m in Moose Lick, Wisconsin — where they don’t have Internet. It’s actually not Moose Lick, and it’s probably only this hotel that doesn’t have Internet. When I checked in yesterday afternoon, and asked about it, the young man said that it was wireless. After working for about an hour on the chat transcript from K12 Online Opening Presentation (which is quite interesting), I attempted to connect to the Internet. No Google.
I checked my IP number and it seemed to be legit, but no Google. So, I continued to work on the chat transcript for another half-hour, tried the Internet again, and still no Google. So I called the front desk. The young man said that they were having some difficulties, and that he would call me back in just a few minutes. Then he called and asked, “Could you come down here and take a look for us?”
Normally, I will decline this sort of invitation, because I am, as you know, not a techie. But I agreed, being that I’m almost desperate, and I’m in Moose Lick, and he was so friendly. I was met at the end of the hall by the man and a young woman, who is apparently his wife, or perhaps his mother. The are both Chinese and, I suspect, in their first semester of English language at the local technical college. They walked me into an employees’ lounge where the wiring closet is attached to a cinder block wall. They pointed to a DSL modem and asked, “Can you fix it?” I did what I do at home, I unplugged the modem waited twenty seconds, and plugged it back in. A red light came on by “power” but none of the other lights. I unplugged and re-plugged the phone line, but no changes.
The woman, who was also very nice, called the phone company. Be reminded that I have an especially hard time with accents because of my hearing problem. When she got tech support, she handed me the phone. I know my eyes got big, but I took it, and explained the problem. The woman on the phone asked for the hotel’s number and I finally got it, having particular difficulty understanding “zero” in Mandarin (or Cantonese). She asked about the lights and I explained, “One red light by Power.”
“It’s not green?”
“Nope! It’s red!”
“If the power light is not green, then the modem is bad. We can ship you a new one in two days, but you will have to install it.”
Well I’ll be in New York in two days, so I relaxed, and remained relaxed the rest of the evening, or until 8:30 when I went to bed. I don’t need to tell you that they do not offer the G4 channel, though there is no shortage of sportsman channels. I learned the proper grip for firing an 18 pound handgun — which should come in handy if I should find myself with an 18 pound handgun, facing a rampaging elephant.
Now please don’t mis-understand. I’m not making fun of immigrant hotel hosts, of Moose Lick (which is not the name of the town), or Wisconsin, or even of people who like 18 pound handguns. I’m having some fun with myself and the fact that I never really know what kind of situation I’m going to find myself in from day to day. I find that the very best weapon I have to deal, is a smile!
Nico, Gonzalez. “African Bush Elephant [Loxodonta Africana].” Nico.Gonzalez’s Photostream. 7 May 2007. 11 Oct 2007 <http://flickr.com/photos/nicovangelion/489210849/>.